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what if when you die, you just disappear... forgotten. it’s getting harder and harder to find my purpose though each passing day. what if life is just a game. what if all of this is just a test to see what is real and fake, who will fold and who is willing to withstand hell, who will give in to the manipulative whispers of dark souls and who will set their own pathway to the light for others to follow, who will disintegrate into darkness and who will prosper, who will leave deep scars onto the wrists of innocent souls and who will resort to their thighs for more space, who’s voice will stay muffled through all the clones and who’s voice will echo into eternity. all i see is darkness... all i see is the same beautiful demon disguised as an angel, eating my soul with a smile on her face. no remorse.
in dire need of love and attention
lost soul with a heart of gold cold hearted actions speak words never told eyes burn as i blink red rushes through them though my favorite is pink linking our precious souls, letting eachother in ever since that day, i hated being in my own skin endless pain the smile i saw everyday now lives on memory lane empathy disappearing with no warning at all i missed you so i kissed you when you left me that Fall i was too scared to walk up to your memory casket everyday i pray to god asking him why our time together never lasted longer than he had in store it felt like he just got up, walked away, slamming the fucking door right in my face i’m a fucking disgrace i never knew tears could fall down my face at this pace remorse and guilt both devour my soul all this pain and misery is starting to take a toll i don’t know how much longer i can fight the guiding light that always helped me through the night is now in the stars, slow dancing with her father. i miss you both. not a day goes by where i don’t think about how big you could’ve been today if your life wasn’t cut so short. you had the brightest little smile any little girl could ever have. you will never leave my heart, i promise. i love you, always 🖤
fun fact: i’m really shy but once you get past my shell i’m the goofiest person you’ll ever meet. oh and i was obsessed with macaroni & cheese and vanilla milkshakes as a kid
hi my names cody
it’s overtaking me slowly 4am deep thoughts of melancholy lowkey, what if my neck instead of my wrists were slit “what’s that on your arm?” oh my cat must’ve scratched it the blood feels cold when i blow it you would never expect it cus on my face i don’t show it i gave you plenty of hints but you still didn’t notice i know you won’t see this but i just hope you know this i love you i wont put anything else above you hold you caress you fuck i’m so obsessed with you.. momma has heart disease you made my heart breathe again with so much ease purity in your soul with no intention of sin i’m sorry you found out i was a wolf in sheepskin “i’m sorry” you’ve heard that so many times but those didn’t feel real remorse, mine came straight from the source i admit it i held the ground you walked on i wanted to send you this but guilt is all i choke on still, i’m forever grateful i prayed to god that your thoughts about yourself were never hateful you were always perfect in my eyes through our lows and highs the only thing i was jealous of, was your soul divine your imperfections are so fucking precious to me before i hurt you, i just wish i could’ve seen that you’re a blessing
i just want to be happy
ever since i cut my hair i literally have no self confidence & it’s to the point where haven’t even taken a picture of myself for the past month or so and it’s probably gonna be like that for a while now but oh well. this just means i have more time to make content for you guys 🤧 i wanna get back on my grind and improve on it because it was my best coping activity. anyways, yeah this is just an update on what to expect for the next few weeks/months.
GUESS WHOS GOING BACK TO FLORIDA TOMORROW FOR A WHOLE WEEK 🤪🤪
tb to when i actually looked decent 😪 nah but that was literally the worst job i ever had because everybody treated me like shit and on top of that, all the little middle school girls would always hit on me 🤦🏽♂️ AND I BARELY GOT PAID ANYTHING LMAO THEY FINESSED ME
bad habit # 39392737: i always put everybody else’s happiness before mine and it always comes back to bite me. being nice all the time isn’t so rewarding because i never get the same back and then i end up getting manipulated or taken advantage of, yet my dumbass still forgives everytime 🤦🏽♂️ having a big heart is more of a curse than a blessing
just a reminder that all of you are
wow i’m a fucking idiot i really just cut all my hair off
what’s the easiest way to win your heart?
wake up to your face i'm straight-forward, fuck a pace what i wanted just so happened to be you couldn't picture being a moment in your shoes when i think back to the kidney failures broken promise, i failed i won't deny it, i held the ground you walk on heart stops, you walk away you're good today, you're gone tomorrow i carry my heart on my face, i'm so depressed but good at sex i pray that you would love me less and now it's here, hand on my chest
name something more annoying than dry contacts